Missy Monroe: When “Mike John’s Jerk-off Material” Is YOUR Jerk-off Material

Missy Monroe: When “Mike John’s Jerk-off Material” Is YOUR Jerk-off Material

2014.01.27 Money Shot - Mike John's Jerk Off Material 10 00“Mike John’s Jerk Off Material 10” – she’s got a few more tattoos than the last time I saw her, she’s a little more curvy, she looks a little less innocent. But she still sports that short blonde hair, and that cute face is the same. Her tits are apparently an F-cup now, which is just gilding the lily – you had me at C, Missy – and looking perfect. Her ass is just as round and just as wide open as it ever was, and she says she’s missed porn “so much…” How much? Well, you’ll see, as it looks like Tim von Swine has missed that sexy body and those capacious holes as much as I have, and he wastes no time getting into every one he can – pussy and ass seem to be just as ready as they ever were, and if Missy’s squealing and wriggling is anything to go by, she is enjoying the sex as much as he is. I hope she hasn’t been going without.

In every medium you like, there is some example of an artist whose work you love and expect to see no more of – writers get blocked and can’t produce another novel, TV shows get cancelled, musicians overdose on smack; this is true of porn even more than a lot of other venues, as starlets appear and flame out – you may only get a dozen scenes from some little beauty before she decides she’s done giving blowjobs for cash. Some girls show up once, in an Ed Powers movie or a particularly brutal Max Hardcore scene, and while you cringe and sympathize with her entirely understandable feeling that porn wasn’t as glamorous as she thought it was going to be, you’re also wishing she had chosen more wisely and had a better experience. And then there are girls who you got used to being around, and they disappeared on you – a big enough star that you notice her absence, but not big enough that, as a casual porn fan, you hear anything about what happened.

Missy, who was in hundreds of movies from 2003 to 2006 and then dropped off the map (got married, as it turns out), was one of those girls for me. You don’t expect someone like that to pop up eight years later, and yet, here she is in “Jerk Off Material 10” (a three-Monroe movie, as it happens, featuring Violet, Missy and Zoey). You hope someone like that isn’t back in porn because she needs to pay the bills, because whatever she left porn for didn’t work out, as with Gauge and Jenna Jameson. But you’re still glad to see her doing what – as far as you know – she does best.

Jenna Ivory looks little less like a stripper and a little more like a newly arrived hooker you’d see in the better part of town; she takes on three guys (two at a time and then another), with no anal. Alana Rains is a tall and very skinny brunette who takes Kitty Bella, another stripper-type with what might be fake boobs and a winsome if empty giggle.

About P. Weasels

P. Weasels
P. Weasels has been working in various aspects of the porn industry since 1997, and has been a fan since about 1975. He has also worked in the videogame and comic-book industries. In his spare time, he performs as a storyteller at various events in the San Francisco Bay Area and looks for things to do in the San Francisco Bay Area that will make for good stories. He has written for Gamelink, Kink.com, and the San Francisco Chronicle, and wishes he had spent more time playing baseball as a kid, because he thinks he would have made a great catcher. Email if you want to hear his idea about a great escort agency.
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