Human Barbie! Cuz Plastic is Sexy

Human Barbie! Cuz Plastic is Sexy

by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com

Two very interesting stories have been making the rounds this week, and, strangely enough, they both have to do with women who have gone to a fair bit of trouble to cultivate their similarity to that anatomical freak and froufrou fashion maven, Barbie!

One story is about a young woman who seems to bear a natural resemblance to the doll, and maintains her slender figure (and maybe her pale pink complexion) by subsisting on air. Yes, folks, you heard that right: this little dollface is a “breatharian” who thinks she needs only air and sunlight to live. Well, and it helps her fit into those size -7 jeans. Ukrainian model Valeria Lukyanova is reputed to have a twenty-inch waist. She has apparently undergone a number of plastic surgery procedures to make herself look like that perfect doll we all played with when we were in pigtails.

In addition to believing she can live on air and sunlight, Valeria also believes she has achieved time travel and can communicate with aliens, and that she is from another planet (kinda figured that).

I recall an episode of “Nip/Tuck” where a couple wanted to get surgery to be more like Barbie and Ken: including smoothing of their genitals and removal of their nipples. They also stopped having sex because they believed Ken and Barbie were chaste.

Human Barbie And Ken

Human Barbie And Ken

Valeria happened to meet her male counterpart: a “real-life Ken doll” who has spent over $150,000 on plastic surgery. The meeting didn’t go so well; Ken found Barbie to be “too fake” (because she had not altered herself as drastically as he had–apparently there is some kind of purity thing going on here, although how that corresponds to such extreme artificiality is a bit confusing for this blogger) and dressed up like a drag-queen version of her to protest Valeria’s playing “dress up.” The photos of the two of them together are surreal, fascinating and really, really creepy.

Hard to say why people get these bizarre ideas in their heads; what’s wrong with being a lumpy, hairy, smelly human? But I also wonder: how can they afford these procedures? Elective plastic surgery isn’t cheap and it’s not covered by insurance. And who are the surgeons who will do such things? It must be against the Hippocratic oath on some level. What these people need is expensive therapy, not expensive cosmetic surgery.

And there’s more than just nosejobs, boob jobs, hair removal and waist-shrinking to consider: this human Barbie also wants to become a dumb blonde. Blondie Bennett, whose plastic surgeries include breast augmentation to size 32JJ, and drastic reshaping of her facial bones to resemble Barbie, has begun undergoing hypnotherapy sessions to make herself less intelligent and more likely to be flaky and forgetful. She’d been obsessed with the doll since childhood, and has played “Barbie” at toy store promotional events.

Blondie Bennett

Blondie Bennett

Well, I must say, even with a lowered IQ, this woman is anything but dumb. She is presently unemployed but manages to get her surgeries and hypnotherapy sessions paid for by fans who donate to help her achieve her dream of being a top-heavy brainless bimbo.

We can laugh, but Bennett actually thinks she is living her dream. Cosmospolitan magazine did an online feature that shows her in a pink leatherette jumpsuit, and gosh, she really does look exactly like Barbie…except with veins and sweat and lurking tooth decay and, you know, all those things that happen when you have a human body. But maybe she’ll lose so many brain cells that aging won’t bother her. She is certainly not far from being delusional. I wonder what will happen to this poor creature when she loses her fan base and needs to support herself somehow.

“I just want to be the ultimate Barbie. I actually want to be brainless,” Blondie Bennett, 38, told Barcroft TV. “I don’t like being human, if that makes sense… Natural is boring… I would love to be like, completely plastic.”

How does she know what being human is like? Has she been able to compare it to some other way of being? Is it possible that too much plastic surgery could actually shift our consciousness to an artificial one: not composed of flesh, blood, bone and grey matter, but of silicone, saline, collagen and Botox?

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About Coleen Singer

Coleen Singer
Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.
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